Where did those Z's go?

My darling, beautiful, extraordinary little sweet pea... is being a nightmare.
No...
not a nightmare...  That conveys that there is actual sleeping.
A terror, then.

She has been waking up every hour throughout the night.  Yes. Every.Hour.
I don't know what's happening.  I feed her the sacred fart juice before bed... I rock her like every other night, and have even rocked her longer the past few nights-trying to ensure a deep sleep. I wait for her steady breathing to begin, and for her little mouth to fall open... Then I use my super ninja skills and agilely get up from the rocker to lay her down... Wait! Her arm just moved! Eep! I'd better rock her a little longer...
Finally, I put her down in the crib, and she rolls to her side.

I sneak out of the room... creep downstairs. Jerk Face and I talk in whispers... We're afraid.
We try to watch an episode of How I Met Your Mother (we're 5 episodes behind...), and I try to catch up on your blogs.
It's been all of 15 minutes when the cries come.
Seriously?
I grab a bottle and head back upstairs. The dear little angel turd is sitting up in her crib, sobbing. She sees me and smiles. What a butt face. I try to just lay her down and give her the bottle... it worked once... now, it's just wishful thinking.  So, I rock her again. She falls asleep easily...  maybe too easily. I lay her down.
Jerk Face and I never finish watching How I Met Your Mother, I never read your blogs. I'm tired, we go to bed.
It's been an hour when the cries start...

A few nights ago, after she wouldn't sleep for hours.. I gave her a bath about 12:30a... Didn't really help. I made her room completely dark... didn't help. I brought her downstairs and we watched an episode of In the Night Garden... I put on her teething necklace, and she was out within 15 minutes... and slept until 4:30a.

So, now I have the teething necklace on her... but maybe it doesn't work? Jerk Face helps me give her the teething drops...  I rock her back to sleep, she finished the bottle, so I go downstairs to make her another one...
I just finished making the bottle, gave Mojo some pets... and then? I hear crying. Already?
Back to her room. My little love bug is waiting for me. I pick her up, give her the bottle once again, and once again, she falls asleep quickly.
I go to sleep.. wondering how much I'll get this time...
It was an hour...or was it 2 this time? I lose count. It's been night after night after night of this.
I ask Jerk Face if he remembers when this started... he says it's been at least a month.  Maybe I'm delusional, but I don't think it's been THIS bad for a month.  Sure, she'll have a night or two like this, and then sleep well again (although NEVER the whole night through, like she did only a few months ago)... This? This is bad. This makes me want to throw her out the window. It's right there in her room, I could if I really wanted to.

I miss sleep. We used to be best friends... but LB is driving a wedge between us.

*editor's note:
I meant to post this on Friday... Things didn't work out.
I eventually DID catch up on your blogs... but I'm sorry if I didn't leave a comment, or if I did, I'm sorry if it didn't make much sense....
Things are getting a little better... she's not waking up every hour now... and this past weekend, Jerk Face got up with her (Every time on Saturday!!!).

I think I know why she kept waking up. I think she kept rolling over in her sleep and onto her tummy... which is not acceptable, so she would sleepily sit up and start crying... because she couldn't sleep very well sitting up.